Cakes, Candles, and Closet Choices

Birthdays and fashion have always felt intertwined to me. It's not just about wanting to look cute; it’s the quiet, strange pressure to look better than ever, to show up as some elevated version of yourself. Ironically, that pressure makes people do the most chaotic things, like procrastinating the outfit hunt until it becomes a mini crisis, panic-buy something overpriced, and then put on a dress that lives exactly one night before disappearing into a closet. I say this all very lightly, because I’ve definitely been that person. 

My cousin and I share a birthday, and picking our dresses every year has basically turned into a full-on project. We both have pretty different styles, so finding two dresses we can both agree on that still stay true to each of us ta

kes time. And yet, every single year, we procrastinate. Every time our birthday comes around, we convince ourselves we have time. And every year, we find ourselves in the same situation: exhausted, stressed, and suddenly staring at the “convenient but expensive” options because time ran out. 

As we’ve gotten older, our tradition has shifted. We care more about what we’re buying and how long it will last, abandoning the one-wear mindset. It’s not because we ever consciously chose it, but because we realized that’s exactly what kept happening. Now, when we look for our birthday outfits, we’re thinking about quality, whether we can rewear it, how we can style it differently, and whether it actually feels like us rather than something chosen out of pressure. 

I used to think that the best part of the tradition was when we finally found the dresses. Now I think it’s the process itself; where two girls with two different styles are trying to honour who they are while still keeping a tradition alive. Doing it in a way that feels more mindful, more intentional, and more grown. 

Even though we still procrastinate, the outcome feels different. Instead of panic-buying something forgettable, we take our time, and we look for pieces we’ll actually wear again. Sometimes, that means investing in something high-quality, and other times, that means borrowing from each other. Either way, it always means choosing meaningfully, and choosing something that isn’t just for one day.

The real interplay between birthdays and fashion lies in this tension between pressure and intention. The urge to look new versus the responsibility to choose better. The chaos of the moment versus the calm of knowing you’re picking something that will last longer than the celebration itself. And for us, the tradition, the stress, the laughter, the fitting rooms, the opposite styles, and somehow finding harmony is what makes our birthday feel like ours. In the end, the dress matters less than the mindset, choosing pieces we’ll wear, rewear, and grow with, beyond just one birthday.